Toy Story Is Our Star Wars

•June 23, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Toy Story 3 has officially been out for 5 days. I saw it for my 3rd time tonight. I of course saw it opening night. My friends and I have been talking about seeing Toy Story 3 on opening night for like 2 years. TANGENT “Bros before hoes,” is misinterpreted far to often. Ditching your friends for your girlfriend or girl you really like is perfectly acceptable, because she is not a hoe. Well even if she is a hoe, as long as you have intentions of dating and possible picnics. Ditching your friends for a chance at some sort of job, with an ugly broad in a way to short skirt and halter top is not acceptable. Pardon the rant, now back to Toy Story.

I did make it up to my friends. We went tonight after some delicious wings and another painful Orioles loss. Both of those things are not even close to important though, because we are talking about Toy Story 3. The best movie of all time. That might just be the aftershock talking, but it is definitely top 5. I laughed, I cried, I wanted to watch it again as soon as it was over. Yeah I cried. You will too. The biggest thing with the movie is the emotional connection I have to it. Toy Story was my favorite movie from 6 years old all the way to 15 or 16. And even then it was in the top 3.  It came out at the perfect time for our generation. Sure, I have 4 years on Andy, but we are the same in so many ways. I was playing with toys when he was. My toys weren’t anywhere near the athletes or masterminds that his were. At least to my knowledge. When we went to college we all had to make decisions about the things we love from our childhood, and its sad. It really is. I still have my Woody doll. I always will. It’s not even the real one, it’s the Burger King one that only says “You’re my favorite deputy.” He sits on my shelf, right next to an old watch my grandpa and I found, Pokemon Gold and Silver, and the only picture of me with both my grandfathers. I know, random stuff. But it’s all I have from my childhood. Toy Story means a lot to me.

This might sound ridiculous, but Toy Story is our Star Wars. How awesome was the first Toy Story? It blew my mind. The effects, the story, the characters. Everything about it was the best thing of all time. Then Toy Story 2 comes out, we are a little older, a little wiser. It wasn’t Toy Story, but we saw those characters we loved, working together again. I mean, it’s not really a continuing epic. It has a true beginning, and a true end. The middle is all just kind of progress. I remember when my dad first showed me Star Wars and told me how big of a deal it was back in 1977. It was on TBS or something and he told me that I should watch it. I did, and I fell in love. Someday, Toy Story is going to be on TBS and I’m going to tell my kids to watch it. I can explain how amazing it was when I first saw it, and how the final scene made grown men cry.  My brother in law has a star wars shirt framed in his basement. That movie meant so much to everyone who grew up with it. It means a lot to people who were born 20 years after. Toy Story will be the same way. Pixar will keep making movies, but none will ever compare to Toy Story. Maybe it’s because I grew up with Toy Story, maybe it’s just that good. Either way it’s a story that I love, but more importantly, and unlike Star Wars, a story I can relate to.

Now maybe it’s because I’m 21 years old, but I took so much more out of Toy Story 3 than either of its predecessors. It really isn’t a childrens movie. I guess no Pixar film really is. They all have fart jokes, and cute characters, but deep down they all have really touching stories. Whether it be a lost clown fish, or a sad little old man, you smiled at the end of their journey. You smiled your freaking socks off. Anyway, Toy Story 3 has so many layers and elements. You feel genuine compassion for pieces of plastic. And unlike the first 2, you feel compassion for Andy. Back to the plastic. The adventure this time isn’t nearly as ridiculous as chasing after an airplane on a toy horse, but it definitely has its thrills. They go to a day care, stuff happens, it’s fun. The last 30 minutes is where it get’s really, really good.  There is one scene, where your heart will stop. If you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about. Even in times of great peril, your friends are always there for you. It’s kind of touching how much these toys care about each other. They promise to stick together to infinity and beyond. Now I won’t ruin the ending, but let’s just say it could not have been better. The final line of the movie will give you goosebumps. And to top it all off the story ends, with the exact same camera shot that it begun with. Maybe it’s the LOST in me, but I dug it. If you don’t want your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, or whoever to see you crying don’t you worry. There is a prompt 10 minute gag reel during the credits to give you time to wipe away those tears.

I would praise the 3D and how amazing it is, but honestly it doesn’t matter. This isn’t Avatar, where the movie is just meh without the 3D. Go see Toy Story however you want. Just make sure you do. The movie even leaked online if you’re a poor bastard. It’s a terribly shitty, Russian cam version though. Make no mistake, the 3D is incredible. And there are a lot less little kids in the 3D version. I guess because of the glasses and such. So if you can spare the 3 extra bucks go 3D.

If you are at all interested in my life this is the paragraph for you. I turned down the Orioles job to hand out food samples at Giant. Yeah, ridiculous right. Giant pays more, gives me way more hours, and has better benefits. Who would have thought. I made my first Howard County friend. Ha. Took me a freaking year.

ps The Orioles are 32 games under .500 and 24.5 games out of first place. Seriously, I hate this.

Oil Spill Jokes!!!

•June 9, 2010 • 1 Comment

This blog features 3 completely unrelated topics. Enjoy.

How about them MTV Movie Awards. I have to say Kristen Stewart looked as gorgeous as ever. You saw that coming. Aziz Ansari was awesome. He was hysterical for the 5 minutes of air time he got. Tom Cruise really stole the show with his “dance number.” I forgot how awesome he is. And Katie Holmes looked old. Not like Betty White. But old for Katie Holmes. I picture her as like 24 all the time. I guess she ‘s 31 now. Either way shes still gorgeous. The awards were a laughing stock, as expected. Twilight won everything. I guess that’s what happens when fans vote. But then again, this award show is supposed to reflect the MTV audience, and it did just that. Anna Kendrick won best break out star for Up In the Air. She was just as shocked as me. She lost the Oscar to Monique so at least she has some golden popcorn to commemorate her performance. (I’m falling for her by the way) The musical performances were apparently weird. I hate the song California Girls with a passion so I didn’t watch Katy Perry. I heard there were lots of boobs. And Christina Aguilera, really. Where the hell have you been. Don’t care. Oh and Sandra Bullock getting the lifetime achievement award. I literally lold. She was in what, 3 good movies her whole career. I have an idea, let’s give BP the award for caring about the environment the most. So then she kissed Scarlett Johansson for literally no reason. I mean it was cool and all, but why did it happen? Is MTV so desperate that they have 2 women kiss at an award show. Oh yeah…they are. That, along with the ridiculous amount of censor fail I’m sure MTV got a lot of press. Congrats. Oh snap! Can’t forget the Harry Potter preview. Loved it. Twilight preview, meh. I’m weird about Twilight. I’ve never seen it, but I do know I hate how Kristen Stewart looks in it. She looks all normal high school girl. Which is not a good look for her. (Insert Darshni comment -> “You would hate that she looked normal for once. You’re so fucking weird”)

So Eminem’s new Album Recovery leaked the other day. BP did nothing to stop it. Ha. Really though I enjoy it. The album not the oil spill. That shit is absurd. I hope Obama kicks some serious ass. Now I don’t really like rap. I listen to upwards of 3 rappers Lupe, Kid Cudi, and very select Kanye/Jay Z. Mainstream rap kills me. The songs are just made for clubs now. The rap I like doesn’t get radio play. But Drew what about Superstar. Ha, that song is pretty terrible. Go listen to The Cool, it doesn’t fit at all, and its pretty weak next to the other tracks. (Check out Dumb It Down, now that will blow your mind) Lupe mostly raps about inspiring things. And he barley ever swears which I really dig. Cudi just puts me in some sort of mood. The Man on the Moon album is one of my favorites ever. It is my official driving to Pittsburgh jam . Back to mainstream and how I hate it. I have no desire to hear about where its going to go down, or how to superman that hoe. Is it stupid to say I hate rap because it degrades women and promotes things that shouldn’t be? Maybe it is. Don’t care. Any who back to Eminem. I have always been a pseudo fan of his. I liked 8 mile a lot, so I checked out some of his stuff after that. He as always been funny, and then serious. I can’t stand it. He has so much talent, and so much anger built up in him to fuel that talent, yet he tries to be funny for radio play. Wack. It isn’t even funny. Point is, if you like funny mainstream Eminem stay away. This album has 16 tracks, and all 16 are serious as shit. Well 2 of them are kind of sex fueled attempts at club hits, but lets forget them. The hooks are all pretty much poop, but who really cares. The verses are where he thrives. Make sure you check out  Spacebound, Almost Famous, and Love the Way You Lie. (Spacebound and Almost Famous aren’t on YouTube) None of these songs will be hits, maybe Love the Way You Lie because Rihanna sings the hook, but either way. At this point, if a rap song is on the radio, I don’t want to hear it. It’s weird, Kid Cudi is telling me about how lonely he feels, and how he just wants to be happy. B.o.B is rapping about pretty girls he respects, and how lovely they are. Eminem is rapping about recovering from drug abuse, and how much he loves his little girl. You have to figure we are overdue for some Soulja Boi. Or maybe some sort of guide to proper cocaine snorting (off of a girls phat ass). Come on rap industry. Respectful dudes not named Shawn Carter are putting albums out. Step it up.

I hated baseball for about a week. I love it again. Between Armando Galarraga getting absolutely screwed, and me going to the worst baseball game I have ever been to (Orioles lost 11-0 to the Red Sox. Terribly hot, and 3 times more Sox fans than Os fans) I really did not like baseball. Over the past 2 days, it came back. The draft was yesterday. Which is the worst thing ever to watch, but I figured I would tune in for the O’s pick. Manny Machado. (Quite the ironic shirt. He really wants to be in the blog) People call him the next A-Rod. Even though I have never seen him play, and know so little about him, he put hope in me. It might just be impossible for the Orioles to win again, but at least we have hope. Right? Think about Weiters, Bell, Machado, Markakis, Jones, Matuz, Tillman, and Arieta. That will happen next year. So we are a a few infielders, some veteran leadership and a coach away from competing. Good grief it kind of seems like we went backwards. But still. Hope! Speaking of future, in his major league debut, Stephen Strasburg dominated the Pirates. Now I do like the Pirates but that was awesome. 14 Strikeouts and no walks. No pitcher has ever done that in their debut. Hell, only 5 pitchers have done that ever! That’s ridiculous. Nothing is as fun to watch as a great pitching performance. If the rotation works out as it should, Strasburg will pitch in Baltimore June 25th. We are going. Think about next year for the Nats. Strasburg will be one of the best in baseball, Bryce Harper will join that already powerful lineup of Dunn, Zimmerman and Willingham. The Nats are playoff bound. You heard it here first. 2011 Wildcard. So the moral of the story is, the Orioles suck some major ass, but I cant let that have an effect on how much I love baseball. All in all, it could be worse. We could be BP.

ps If you have a twitter follow that guy. It’s hysterical.

Insert Cowboy Related Title Pun Here

•June 2, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I just beat Red Dead Redemption, and all I can say is “wow.” Not LF2M TANK/DPS TOC “WoW.” And not “wooow who puts a fucking claymore there. What the fuck! NO ONE, puts a GOD DAMN claymore there! Fucking ass hole! I swear to God!” A few quick thoughts about COD while we are on the topic. Watch this, skip to 6:10 and fall in love with her. “Why don’t you get off your death streak…fag.” So can we get a fan vote for a  Colby Minute based completely on COD. I think the game deserves a good punch in the throat as Colby would say. Plus, take the O out of COD and magical things happen. And there is apparently a new map pack on June 3rd. How did I just hear about this today? Along with 2 MW1 levels they are adding 3 new ones. I was watching a video about the map pack, and 2 of the 3 look pretty sweet, but then they cut to the carnival level. ZOMG A CARNIVAL!! It looks all kinds of awesome. I bet it has an end of Zombieland feel to it. Granted the main point of that was the zombies, and there will be none of those. Go make a Zombieland game. “But Drew! What about Left 4 Dead?” Touche.

Back to Red Dead Redemption. I don’t really play single player video games that much. I used to all the time, but then xbox live happened, and I just have more fun playing with my friends than by myself. I pretty much play any game that I know is going to be fantastic. (I have been on this sentence for 20 minutes. Bryan Merlock is side tracking me with talk of pooping in the doop. which is not pooper dooper.) Anywho I’m sure you have all played some form of GTA, be it in Liberty City, or Chinatown, or East Liverpool. Red Dead is like GTA in the wild west. 1910 to be exact. And no matter what you think now, after you play through the game you will want to live there. I mean, aside from the gangs, wild animals, and lack of authority. It’s beautiful (yup, judged that by a video game) and its simple. You appreciate what you have. I’m taking this too far for a video game so let us move on. The game follows John Marston who is sent to kill a  gang member and later that gangs leader. His own government is holding his wife and son hostage until he completes his task. Oh America. The whole story is great. It’s slow at times, you do have to herd cattle on 5 separate occasions, but the ending is worth every penny. (But really, I would just rent it. It’s like 40 hours of gameplay and the online is poop. Im sure there will be DLC though. I really don’t care what you do just play the game) The game ends in epic fashion. Kill the bad guy, music plays, very Snake Eater. You say “wow,” as you finally ride home to your family. But you didn’t mean it, because its then, you realize it’s not over. About 12 missions later it ends again, even more epically than before. The music plays, the camera fades to a great shot of that thing I cant tell you about. It’s movie like. You say “wow,” as one epic tear roles down your face.  But then you realize, it’s still not over. 1 more mission. 1 that is different from all the rest. More important than anything before. You pull the trigger one last time, and the credits role. And this is when you say “wow.” For the last time.

Aside from the main story there is so much to keep you entertained. There are a ton of side quests and challenges to complete if you chose. Or you could just ride around an admire the scenery. Or you could screw the scenery, ride around, and shoot everyone in the head. Better yet, you can hogtie someone and put them on the train tracks, wait for it, and watch the train turn red. To add to everything the music in the game is the best I have ever heard. I had to get the soundtrack, I loved it that much. (No silly, I didn’t pay for it) The game also is the second best looking thing I have ever seen that isn’t real life. (Number 1 is soccer on a 3D TV. Go watch that demo at Best Buy. You will poop yourself) All in all, this was my second favorite game this year. Mass Effect 2 was just too super special awesome. Plus, it was challenging. Whereas Red Dead is just super fun. No real challenge. I mean, you can slow down time pretty much whenever you want and blow the heads of 7 dudes clear into Mexico. But lets not kid ourselves, that truly is the definition of super fun. So go rent it right now! I give it 5 drews. You can measure that however you wish.

On a drastic side note, The Young Veins’ album leaked. It is fantastic. Go get it. The Young Veins are a band that consists of 2 former Panic at the Disco members. The album sounds more like Pretty Odd than A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out. So if you are one of those people you should probably steer clear. But at least give Dangerous Blues a listen. It’s really good.

ps I AM SO SCARED OF THIS CAT

Goodbye LOST, Hello Goof Troop!

•May 24, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I can’t remember a weekend that matches the pure perfection of the last. Saturday was filled with softball, taco bell, lamp pong, COD, the forming of the Goof Troop and my first Ross Merrits shindig. Sunday was the end of LOST. Which was amazing. I have actually watched the final 30 minutes of the finale 6 times now. But more on that later.

Saturday comes first. Softball is more or less a weekly thing now. Which I love. Although this game of softball may have been the most ridiculous in all of history. The final score was roughly 45-26, or something like that. Only 6 innings. I was on the losing team, but hey that’s alright. (Dear Ryan Langrehr, I respect your decision to put away the technology, but keep blogging. The island needs you) The Goof Troop is a group of  young men, who do everything they can, to do everything they can. Your house is on fire, who you gonna call? 911. The goof troop doesn’t care about your house, or the fire that is engulfing it. If you want to be in the goof troop you must have the legendary goofy bandz, (which you don’t) or be wearing an acceptably goofy shirt. Example. So on to the Ross Merrits shin dig. Best party I have been to in a long time. Listening to Shane Mayberry threaten to marry Mikey White and Langrehr was amazing. He actually has the power to do that. He’s an ordained minister. So if you need to get married, give him a call. I found an unlikely beer pong partner in my friend Anthony Georgiades. He claims it was his stylish shirt that he found in a bag. I know it was that goofy duck he was wearing around his wrist. I know this because Bryan Merlock was off his game all night. He was weakened by the tantalizing thought of that duck. He wanted it so bad. He was slowly crippling himself throughout the night seeing that duck on another man’s wrist. Especially Anthony’s. That bastard was toying with him all day! Bryan eventually got it, and found his true spirit in that cute little piece of rubber.

Before we get to LOST, let’s talk about Elle magazine. Actually, let’s just do what I did and look at the pictures. That’s one of the best. But there are plenty more. I know you are interested so here’s a link. There’s also an awesome video, with terrible music. But many things make up for the music.

On to LOST. I’ve been a big fan of the show for a long time. I know everything there is to know about it. I have always loved the characters, story, mystery. I went into the finale not really knowing what to expect. For 6 seasons I watched this show. All of the mysteries, all of the crazy things that happened on that island. (Time travel, black smoke monsters, a light that can never go out, etc.) Last night, for the first time, I realized that the island didn’t matter. The show wasn’t about the island at all. It was about life. People who did not have the best of lives, getting a second chance. They all found hope, and a better life in one another. The journey that they were all put in together, because some guy failed to do his job only hours after accepting it.

Tell me 4 days ago that the ALT universe was actually an afterlife that was created to allow our characters to find each other, so that they could move on to a better place together, and I would have slapped the taste right out of your mouth. I was ignorant to everything that LOST stood for. I think we all were. We all wanted to know about the island, and its mysteries. And let’s be honest, with these last couple episodes they really made it seem like the key to the show was in Jacob, MIB (His name was apparently Samuel) and that light in the cave. Leave it to JJ Abrams to make you re think everything after you finally think you have it figured out. Sure that light in the cave mattered for the island, and maybe even the whole world. Who really knows? I’m proud to say that I don’t care at all. I care far more that Jack found peace. Claire, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, and even Ben, they were all happy. And in the afterlife, everyone was happy. It took some of them a while to realize everything that was happening, but when they did, they were happy. They were with the people that mattered most to them, and they all moved on together. Maybe to face another journey together, maybe to rest in peace. Either way, that ending was extremely unexpected and absolutely fantastic.

I frequently visit a Dark UFO blog for lost information, and to read what other people are thinking. There is a great analysis of the finale on there that I agree with completely. Here’s the link if you liked my attempt but wished I had written it better. So on that site there is a link to a forum literally called “The official disappointed in the end I feel like I wasted the last 6 years of my life.” I read it for a little while. I hate everyone on it. They are bitching because the finale “didn’t answer any questions at all” They wanted a finale that showed how the black smoke was formed, and how the island was the key to life. I get that, I really do, but to say that this ending was crap is ridiculous. So what if the had a lot of mythological things that weren’t answered. Do you like star wars? I hate it because they never told us what the force really was. Or how midichlorians work. I hate Pokemon too. All that time, and never once do they mention how putting a stone on Pikachu’s head makes it a Riachu. Point is, not everything can be answered in life. Why not cherish what we do know, and stop worrying about what we don’t. (So stop worrying about Lamp Pong) In case you are interested in this these people have a facebook group. Watch out though, they have 19 members as of now. It might get feisty in there!

In the end, I loved every minute of my LOST experience. I cannot wait to re watch every episode of LOST and not care about the island as much, but more about the characters, their stories, and how they come together to care about one another. As soon as I am done with every episode of Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends (screw you its amazing!) I am starting my LOST 2.0 experience.

ps his name was CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD! 7 years ago, they were like “Ha! in the end, this is going to be amazing!”

It’s All Too Insidery

•May 17, 2010 • Leave a Comment

There is apparently some sort of demand for this. I couldn’t tell you why. Most people who read this could not possibly understand half of the stories/jokes. It’s all too insidery. So I’m not quite sure where this demand is coming from, but I dig it like Dugtrio. I guess you like my tales of life, adventure, and pure absurdity. It has been a while and for that I apologize. Not really. There just has not been anything to write about. Since I have been back in Maryland I have just went to O’s games, read, went to a film festival, and hung out with some cool dudes. So we could either a) talk about those things, or b) do something else.

I chose a) because b) was unclear as to what that something else could be. Could have been ‘bortions, could have been a boat. Either way. The Orioles suck. I hate them. Did you know that the song they play before every game is Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars. How perfect. They were the Kings of promise weren’t they. “Into the night, desperate and broken.” “We were the victims of ourselves.” They really hit the nail on the head with that song. It is kind of like how Tom Petty wrote Free Fallin about Bryan Merlock in female form. The original went  more like this. “He’s a good boy, and he loves his mama. He loves horses, and his girlfriend too.” Thanks to Shane Mayberry for that. Anyway back to the O’s. This was supposed to be the year we got better. Not great, but better. We are 10-10 in our last 20 but that’s not even good, it just looks good next to a 2-16 start. We are all upset, especially Mike White. He got in an argument with Adam Jones’ mom about how terrible her son is playing. To read his take on it all, and the argument itself click his name up there. And then ask yourself the all important questions. Why is she on facbook? Why does she say LMAO? Why did she call Race Card when Mike was winning? I guess not doing well under pressure runs in the family. Swish. Congrats Mike, you won that argument in my book. You deserve drums in your apartment for that.

I’m currently reading On the Road. Ryan Langrehr and BMer have told me time and again how great of a book it is. So far they were right. I love it. It really makes me want to travel West. But it wouldn’t be the same now. I would just hop on a plane and fly to Denver.  There’s no adventure in that. Although traveling to Denver like Sal did would be dangerous, terrible, and take forever. Speaking of terrible, and taking forever. My friend Kiel had a film showing at the Screech Awards, which is like a local film festival thing. The film he was in was actually very funny and a good time. There were five other films though. Of those five, four of them made me quickly realize I was sitting in a community college, watching films of the same quality. The first was so awful it doesn’t get more than this sentence. The second, was a good time. That was sarcasm. It was like hostel, but 14 times worse. Not like gory worse, like terrible movie worse. This dude was apparently turning into a robot or something. But they used string as wires I guess, so he turned into a giant ball of yarn. At one point he is floating down a stream, not sure why, and it cuts to him washed up on shore with the lower part of his leg missing, and aisle 7 of Jo-Ann Fabrics pouring out of him. Bryan leans over to me and says “dude, the lake sharks got him” I laughed. The movie was so bad, I felt bad laughing. Kiel tells me that the dude who made its goal was to “have someone in the audience throw up.” First off, what the hell is wrong with you. You think you’re Eli Roth or something. Second, you probably did make a few people throw up with, that script and all. Douche. So the third movie was a softcore porn flick. Pretty awkward. Pretty not worth talking about. The fourth was Kiel’s film. Barry Clean. More or less a comedy about Mr. Clean trying to get his life back after being dumped for the new guy, Mr. Shine. (Kiel’s character) Pretty funny film, we all laughed the whole time. After that we had to sit through Blair Witch Project 2.0. Which was complete crap because nothing ever happened. It was 30 minutes of suspense, which lead to nothing. And it won best film. The dude who directed the flim made it quickly apparent how much of a douche he was. Being an Abercombie model and all, he probably was so excited to take that award surfing with him in Kokomo, after driving there in his saab, with his blonde girlfriend, wearing her huge fake glasses with the boobs to match. The last film was the best. Woodchopper. It took place after the world had run out of gas. Poeple were siphoning gas out of junkyard cars for hundreds of dollars a gallon. Junkyards were dangerous, people were desperate and greedy. It was lovely. So the moral of the story is film festivals are filled with hipsters, watching hipster films. It’s fun though. Just blend in. Wear some SillyBandz.

To end. Here are a few notes. Windows are democracy. Rotating sushi is better than stable sushi. Smoothies are better with vigor. Highway high fives are awesome. The Cubs only win when fontenot is in the lineup. Fire Pig is cool, but gay clown otter is stupid. I need to practice singing White Sky by Vampire Weekend. The Greene Turtle in Aberdeen shows ICarly but not the Orioles game. And that picture up there has nothing to do with anything, but I had to meet my picture quota so just enjoy it, because shes beautiful.

ps French girlfriends don’t exist!

“J’aime Franch”

•May 5, 2010 • 1 Comment

It feels like forever since my last post. I guess six days isn’t really that long, but a lot has happened. The Orioles won three games. They swept the Red Sox. I know that the Sox aren’t exactly what everyone thought they would be this year, but still, we swept them. Ty Wigginton and Nick Markakis both had a fantastic series, and the bullpen actually played well. And Tejada single handedly won the first game.Along with this amazingness we had our very last Ridge Party Friday night. The Ridge is a where Peaslee lives. Nice apartments, a lot of space, no where near campus. We all hung out there a lot, and on weekends we would party there to get away from the downtown drama. We had a lot of good times at The Ridge. A couple of my personal favorite moments include Ridge Ball, my surprise birthday party, absurd Nerf gun battles, the autumn incident, and the countless times that Peaslee’s balls were the victim of someones drunk fists. And to clarify some of those, Ridge Ball was more or less a full game of basketball in the living room. Explaining it any further would make all involved seem like complete jackasses. Which we are, but it got out of control. Chris broke a chair by throwing it at a wall after a bad call was made. Yeah we had refs. Foul shots to. Screw you it was fun. Onto the autumn incident. Lord. Hmm, well more or less Peaslee really likes that season. After autumn  blew him away with it’s drunken, slutty, uh…multicolored leaves, he gave back to the season by watering the trees. He didn’t water the roots like you are supposed to. He watered the top part, like where all the branches and leaves are. The face of the tree if you will. Anyway back to the last party. It was more or less any other party with the “final” tag on it. AJ Burnett was there, I had a beer that tasted like arugula, and Chris Kiernan Quarters is now officially Richard Bex Quarters. They played for naming rights.

Now it’s finals week, which is depressing. Not because of the tests, they are over exaggerated  if you ask me. That might just be my major. Sorry if some of you have finals comparable to doing a front flip on a pogo stick. It’s depressing because I’m moving out. Into a better place no doubt, but still I have memories in this two bedroom, overpriced, terribly managed excuse for an apartment. To add to the sadness, yesterday, Ernie Harwell died. I can’t say that I have ever listened to him, but I knew of his legend. They played his Hall of Fame speech last night on Sportscenter. It was moving. “Baseball just a game as simple as a ball and bat. Yet, as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes.” The whole speech is amazing, I really enjoyed reading it.

Everyone is talking about what love is in their blogs. I can’t say I know the answer, but I can tell you the things that I love. Grilled Cheese sandwiches, Sonic, going to the movies, sushi, baseball, battling Pokemon, The Killers, etc. The list is long. Speaking of, I better get an invite to Kyle Munley’s wedding or I am going to throw some kind of fit. I am super excited to go to my first wedding not involving family. That is probably a long way away though. So we can save that for later. Not so long away is my return to Baltimore. This Friday night. I am really excited to see my dog. I miss him so much. Even though he is a little bastard. Big weekend ahead. Something crazy on Saturday, then Kiel’s birthday bash that night. Mothers Day brunch on Sunday. Should be lovely.

This is going to get kind of dark, so, I apologize in advance. Dear, George Huguely. Fuck you. Seriously. I hope you’re never happy again for the rest of your sad, pathetic life. Fucking rot in hell, you piece of shit. Sorry, had to be said.

ps I’m jealous of french girlfriends.

pps Quote of the week, Bryan Merlock “J’aime Franch”

Jack Kerouquack Would Never Survive in New Jersey!

•April 29, 2010 • 1 Comment

My roommate and I get along great. We argue sometimes, but we really are good friends. He is from New Jersey which is cool and all, but the drastically different culture up there is mind blowing. Maybe it’s not that bad, they breathe air, and eat food. But it entertains us when we argue about how different the other is. He calls me gay for my clothes, I call him an uncultured ass hole. It’s fun. We obviously don’t take many pictures together. This is the best I could find. I’m not really a picture guy (unless it’s in the mirror with my phone) and he is really not a picture guy.

This is based on an interview with my aforementioned roommate Chris Kiernan.  He once told Kiel that his collar was stretched out. Kiel was wearing a V-Neck. He asked me what a cardigan was once. He more or less thinks everyone from Maryland is gay. (By Maryland I mean Harford County, and by Harford County I mean all the people I hang out with)  Between the skinnies, the plaid, the v-necks, the boat shoes he thinks we are all a bunch of flits. He means well though. They just dress differently over there. It really isn’t just him either. I really thought it was just him. His father is the same way. (No disrespect, Dan is indeed the man) Chris’ girlfriend is the same way. (Your the best lys!) So in summation, these are the rules, of New Jersey.

1. No cardigans. Ever. Seriously. Don’t you dare even try and wear a cardigan up there. Who do you think you are Christofer Drew. Doubtful. I’m fairly sure all NSN is banned from New Jersey as well. It probably should be illegal everywhere though, I hate myself for enjoying it. I really do.

2. No attending any events, of any kind, with just one other male. (Exception, sports) Movies, gay. Dinner, gay. Although apparently you can go to a bar. But you can’t sit at a table. You have to sit at the bar, and talk about sports trivia, doing chicks, and drink lots of beer.

3.  Speaking of beverages. As a man, you can order beer. But that beer must not end in ultra. Mikes Hard Lemonade, gay. Appletinis, might as well be getting boned by NPH in the bathroom.

4. Collages, rather arts in crafts in general, gay. Peaslee made a fairly cool collage when the Steelers won the Superbowl. That was the birth of rule number 4.

5. Blogging, gay. Ha.

6. Expressing emotions, gay. Texting applies. Emoticons, gay. 😉

7. Only old men can wear: boat shoes and slacks (in a non business situation).

8. Shopping, gay. Especially at Urban Outfitters. See rule 1. for more details.

9. Unless a movie involves sports, killing, or a combination of both, it is a chick flick. So naturally all of my favorite movies are chick flicks. (500) Days of Summer, Adventureland, I Love You, Man, Fantastic Mr. Fox. The list runs on, but that’s not important.

10. If you aren’t from New Jersey, you suck at driving. You are terrible, I don’t know how you got a license being such a shitty driver. It must be all that gas you pump. Makes you suck at driving.

Those are the rules. Based on the 7-10 people I know from there of course. It is a very nice place to visit though. They just don’t have the same values as us. Values was probably the wrong word. Either way they are not the same. To each is own. If they want to where terribly baggy jeans with a sweatshirt more power to them. I don’t see the appeal, but that makes us human I guess. I don’t want it to get to Kiel up in here though. (haha)

So on a super drastic side note. Bryan Merlock is buying ducks. In bulk, because apparently that’s the only way to buy ducks over the internet. Either way, before he buys the ducks we have to build a duck house. I have no carpentry skills. Bryan might, but I doubt it. This is why we recruited Mike White (also no carpentry skills) and Ryan Colburn, who has been known to build houses in Mexico for poor children. True story. Back on point, the duck house is going to look like shit. But it will be a home. A beautiful home for Cranberry and Jack Kerouquack. (I named the latter) He only wants two. But he has to buy at least 10. So I assume four will die through the shipping process. I feel bad saying that. It’s going to depress the hell out of me. But how can you possibly ship baby ducks safely. Why not just send them in egg form. Seems safer than duck form. So we will probably have 4 extras. There is a local wildlife place that Bryan wants to donate them too. Donate sounds like we are doing them a favor. He’s going to beg them to take the ducks rather. Sorry for how off topic that was, but me and Bryan cannot stop talking about how excited we are.

ps. Thanks to Mike White, for showing this song to Colby/Bmer, who thus showed it to me. It is amazing! I dig it like dugtrio.