I Don’t Even Tell Facebook The Truth

That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. It should have been. I guess I’m depressed. You can prescribe me pills right? You diagnosed me. I assumed. Oh you can’t? Shit. Calm down. I’m fine. I just thought you over reacted a little. I shouldn’t bitch. At least you care. That’s nice. I don’t, you might as well. It’s odd though. I didn’t even think it was that bad. But what do I know. I was just being honest. That’s not even true. You want me to write about all the shit you like? Promote this? Are you on Facebook? How’s Twitter? I do that. I did that. I figured you would want to read anyway. You did. Did you like it? I hope so. More jokes? Maybe. Probably not. Life’s funny. Not mine. I could make you laugh. Used to. You miss that? Me too. Can’t do that now though. Later maybe. If you want to laugh go somewhere else. For now. If I don’t take myself seriously who the fuck will? Not you. I don’t do this for the hits. I don’t give a shit who reads this. I’m lying. I care. Not how many.  Just who.  A few of you, mean the world to me. A few. Most of you, are assholes. Mainly me. I want you to care. I won’t let you though. What the fuck am I doing. I don’t tell anyone anything. Why should I even expect you to care? You don’t even know. I won’t even let you. “Go live your life. Don’t worry about mine.You have your own shit. Do you. Don’t do me.” Funny? I’m trying to lighten the mood. Feels tense. For you. Not me. I like this. Being honest. Or something like that. Honesty’s too much. I don’t even tell Facebook the truth. But thats a whole different story. 400 friends. I talk to 50. Maybe. Point is. Those 50 don’t need my shit. “Internalize everything.” Fuck me. You didn’t even know. I didn’t want you to. Selfish. Scared really. It’s not that I don’t trust you. Really. I just, can’t talk. I don’t want to. I should though. People say that right? I heard it somewhere. Maybe from myself. Either way. That’s someone.

ps~I deleted half of that. For you.


~ by drewschuerholz on January 22, 2011.

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