New Home. Maybe.

•February 14, 2011 • Leave a Comment


Is This Some Sick Joaquin Phoenix shit?

•February 9, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I went crazy last night. I had no intentions of writing 1000 words about sports. Ew. It just kind of happened. I wouldn’t say I’m Passion Pit about it or anything. I guess you could say I dislike stupid people who do stupid things. What I really wanted to talk about was my trip to New York, and other Drew related topics. So this is a mulligan post or something.

Two of my good friends and I went to New York Saturday. It should have been three of my good friends and I but some bad shit happened to a good person. He will be alright though. The man is a fighter. Any who, we left Maryland at 1 am. The bus was only three dollars for that time so why not take it right? Getting to New York at 4 am and not leaving until 9 pm sounds great on paper. Turns out it is great. Everyone is asking me what we did and then getting upset when I answer, “Walked around Brooklyn mostly. We ate, shopped, got wet.” You’re appalled that we didn’t see any cool attractions. Meh. Seeing attractions isn’t really appealing to me at all. It’s an awesome city no matter where you are. I just wanted to see 30 rock and Times Square. Times Square is just annoying. So many dumb people taking pictured of everything. I didn’t want to see the building or the ice rink at 30 Rock as much as I just wanted to be there. Some of my idols work there. We went to some awesome stores in Brooklyn. Obviously Urban Outfitters and H & M. There is this store called Uniqlo. Some type of Japanese clothing store. Not sure. It is amazing though. Really good prices to. Everyone who says New York is really expensive needs to clarify or read a book. It was all priced just the same as anywhere else. Literally. This would be a nice transition if I didn’t mention it was one. My Life as Liz was just on. I fucking love her. I want her so bad. I really hate how they act like it’s real though. It clearly isn’t real MTV now let me read a real interview with this girl, not some interview with her character. I want to know about her, and if she wrote it or not. Is she Lindsey Bannester. I think she is. Did some research, maybe not. But Lindsey Bannester writes, produces, and created the concept for My Life as Liz. So… Also, If you look up an interview with “Liz Lee,” she is in character. Which freaks me out. Is that in her contract? Is this some sick Joaquin Phoenix shit? Maybe. Either way, I really like the show and I really think she is pretty as hell. Go watch it. Oh you already no you hate it? Fuck yourself. 🙂 I really wish you could turn those off. It just distracts from the rest of the page so much. It’s so yellow. Ugh. A normal smiley would have perfectly expressed my sarcasm there. But that thing, is just so chippy. Like a fucking Sesame Street character or something.

ps~ I’m really impressed that this Lady Gaga song hasn’t leaked. Good work.

Almost Winning = Winning

•February 8, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Super Bowl!!! Just didn’t care at all. Not before, not after. It just made me angry. Not the Super Bowl itself but what it does to people. Not even that. What sports in general do to people. They are supposed to be fun to watch and cheer for, but they turn people into complete assholes. So before I go on an obnoxiously long sports rant let’s do a quick Super Bowl recap. It was awful. Every part. Game was shitty. If Jordy Nelson could catch it would have been 45-21 Packers. Halftime show was the worst thing ever. I don’t like the Black Eyed Peas, this is true, but that was just pathetic. The show itself was cool I guess. The actually part where they were singing was the downfall. Have a light show next year. The commercials were the best part. Christ I sound like an old lady. Eminem and Chrysler gave me chills, and little Vader made me smile. Moral of the story. Baseball is sooooo close. Okay now onto me bitching for a while.

I like the Ravens, and I don’t really care for the Steelers. Most of my friends are the same way, but they seem to take dislike to a different place.  Apparently, they all HATE the Steelers with an unbelievable amount of passion. Not just the organization , but the players, the fans, and every single person ever related to the city of Pittsburgh. I don’t want to make assumptions about every Ravens fan I know, but most of you haven’t been to Pittsburgh. It’s a nice place. It’s actually a great place. The fans are front runners, sure, but that’s expected in most big cities. You think if and when the Orioles win 85 games this year there will still be 9,000 people there. No. There will be at least 20,000, because people like winners. Can’t do anything about that. Anyway back to Pittsburgh and how you hate everything about it even though you don’t know the difference between the North Shore and the Southside. Maybe you don’t care. That’s fine, but don’t talk shit about the place. So Ben Roethlisberger is a terrible human being. I know that, you know that, everyone in Pittsburgh knows that. They really don’t like him there. You just assume they love raping women because he got accused of it. Get over it.  Ray Lewis killed a man. Jamal Lewis sold drugs to children. Shit happens. If Ben Roethlisberger was on the Seahawks you would’t even care that he was accused of rape. It’s just fucked up.

I get sports rivalries, they make it more fun or something. But to wish bad things upon people who are on the team you hate, or from the city that they call home is fucked up. Actually I’m going to go back and say I don’t get it. I understand that you play one team more than you do other teams so you learn to dislike them more. Okay, thats cool. I like that. But physically hating people because of sports needs to stop. Especially when half of these “rivalries” are horse shit. Nationals Orioles. Stop. 8 games a year. Out of 162. Different fucking leagues. I’m biased I guess because I hate inter-league play, but still. If the Orioles weren’t here we would all be Nationals fans. Redskins Ravens. “You hate the Redskins? Dude me too! Every 4th year when we play them for that 1 game I get so fired up. I just hate them so much. I love watching them fail, because it directly effects my favorite team.” It’s so stupid. And some people who hate the Nationals and Skins are Caps fans. You would think, you would have some respect for your fellow Caps fans other teams. You can’t just like a person on Tuesday and hate them on Wednesday because they are cheering for a different team. Oh and Caps fans hate the Penguins. They aren’t even in the same division. Why do you hate them. Four games a year. Four. out of 82. By the way. Penguins fans laugh at it. They don’t give a shit about the Caps. They care about winning the cup.

That brings me to the one thing that I get screamed at for most. My views of winning. In every sport, every year there is one winner. One. Not two. Not four. One. What did the Ravens and the Steelers have in common this year. They both lost. The Steelers were a better team, sure. Deep down though, they both came up short. I get why you would cheer for a .500 season if your team hasn’t had one in let’s say 17 years, but do not act like you won anything. This is why I hate college football so much. One team wins the national title, yet so many college football fans claim that their teams are winners. West Virginia won the Fiesta bowl in 2007. They should have won the national title. Honestly. So they win the Fiesta Bowl and everyone is happy. What. Why? We won a glorified exhibition game, that literally means nothing. Sure it was a nice purse for the school and the athletes, but I’m a fan, not an athletic director. There are like 45 bowl games. So there are 45 winners. Dumbest fucking thing ever. There is 1 winner. The rest are not. That leads to the NCAA tournament. Super fun to watch. Filling out brackets is a national past time. Everything about it is great. Until people ruin it by crowning four champions. Why the hell do the final four teams get so much glorification in only this. “Because its four out of 64, thats awesome!” Okay, really its four out of, let’s go with 24. That’s impressive sure, but you didn’t win. Why am I the only person who thinks it’s asinine to celebrate being almost champions? How about they give you a trophy for making it to the final four. Literally the same trophy you get for winning. That just defeats the purpose of the trophy. Do you know what Morgan State and WVU had in common in the 2010 NCAA Tournament. They both didn’t win. WVU hung up a banner to celebrate not winning. I don’t know if Morgan State did. Probably. I’m not trying to be a total asshole, I know it’s a great accomplishment. I just really hate how people act like we won something.

That was me ranting about sports. It was horrifying, I know. So from here on out, I will not talk about sports until opening day. April 1st. Until then, back to being depressed and shit. Yay blog!

ps~I could write another 1000 words about how much I hate national signing day, but I’ll keep it simple. You are in high school. I do not give a shit about where you are going to college. The fact that you have narrowed it down to four schools and are waiting for a national television audience to finally decide makes me hate you even more. Maybe I should hate ESPN for filming it, or all the people that watch it. Either way, high school students…

Put KStew on Skins so I can illegally watch it!

•February 2, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I don’t know how I fucking get writers block so much. This is a blog, writers block isn’t even a thing. I feel like I have so much to say, apparently I don’t. So this is a collection of random thoughts. Or something like that. I haven’t had sushi in like 3 weeks. I need it. That’s really not worth getting into. I could talk about Skins like everywhere else in the world. I like it. I just hate how cowardly America is. “Oh a gay guy…I don’t think that’s a good idea. But a hot lesbian! That’s a great idea!” Come on. That pisses me off more than it should I guess. After watching it I dabbled in the British version for a season. It was really good minus everyone being English. Bitching about that would just be stupid though, I knew what I signed up for. I think comparing the two is justified but not worth anyones time. It’s honestly the same thing, almost word for word. They both have young no name actors, decent writing, and crazy good cinematography. Really, it’s the same damn show. Stop bitching and watch it. The only real difference is that Tony isn’t as good. But that posh bastard was brilliant. It’s not like you can relate anyway. That was me assuming you and I were the same back in high school. We probably weren’t. But lets be honest here, you weren’t having crazy sex, dropping pills and partying every night. If you were, I’m jealous…or something like that.

And now I am out of things to say. Ill look around and see what happens. Oh shit right. Kristen Stewart. I was trying to phase out of that. I thought she got married and raged. Turns out she didn’t, but I figured it was hopeless. You know what? Fuck that. It is going to be so hard to come up with a replacement Drew crush that is as perfect as her. Perfect in the sense that I like her so much, everyone else hates her, and no one gets it. I can’t help it that I like awkward girls. I don’t even know her, that’s just an observation. Either way shes fucking pretty as hell. I’m damn good at defending her too. Might as well keep it up. Plus my Adventureland boner still hasn’t fully gone down. Should we do a picture? Meh. Scroll down if you’re interested. It’s semi not really that complicated to upload a picture. Actually, we can imgur link for convenience. Let’s do that. O M G!! That was childish. I love the third one. I would do sick, disgusting things to hook up with her.  On a semi related note, due to over exposure and consistent gawking from 2 individuals, I am now attracted to Ke$ha. This is me admitting I was wrong. She is hot. Some kind of trashy, rebellious, glittery hot. Plus she has a cute nose ring. So now most of you have 2 reasons to hate me. Fuck off. Haters to the left. A picture of Ke$ha being hot? Done. See, cute nose ring.

My favorite site to illegally download music got shut down yesterday. I still think it’s fake. I mean look at it. That shit looks totally fake. Not that I know anything about government logos and emblems. Did you see that swooping eagle thing in the middle? Just dumb. 4chan has done crazier things right? (UPDATE: It’s back now apparently. So just think of the past) But anyway, I miss it. It was, admittedly, getting pretty ridiculous. When you are linking more dick pictures than music you should probably take a minute to re evaluate life. Either way, I have to google shit now. And find safe links. That shit isn’t easy man. I’m bitching right now about not being able to easily download music illegally. My generation! I guess it’s pretty bad, what I do. I buy albums that I really like. I actually have probably paid for, let’s say 30% of the music I acquired this year. That’s way up from last years 2%. It’s just that I love music, and it would be so hard to buy everything first. Half the shit I listen to isn’t even on the shelves at Wal-Mart. Target rather. Fuck Wal-Mart’s music section. “We only have censored music.” Fuck you for that, really. I get it. Well I don’t, but let’s say I do. I’m over 18. According to the law, I can now by music that includes “bad words.” So let me fucking buy it. Anway, Target doesn’t even sell half the shit I like. I bought 4 albums last year. None of which you could find at Target or Best Buy or anywhere. What do you want me to do,Gg to Record and Tape Traders? Well I did that, but there is only 1 of those. And there is no chance I buy them from the internet. iTunes sucks. The iTunes store anyway. The idea of it is amazing. Too many bugs, and dumb shit though. And what if I don’t like it? I can’t just waste 12 dollars. I’m the same way with movies. People say I don’t give enough movies a chance. Well, if it’s going to be 10 bucks to see a movie, it damn well better be good. You can blame Trasformers 2 for that. Worst fucking movie ever. Seriously. I could do a whole blog on piracy, but I kind of feel like a douche for saying it’s ok. It really isn’t cool. I can’t get behind the “Free StrikeGently” movement. I miss it a lot, but it was way illegal. I can’t defend it. I won’t stop downloading though. I refuse to listen to the radio play the same 14 songs over and over. So I’m torn I guess. I know it’s wrong, but it’s just too convenient. New Lupe Fiasco album on March 8th. I will buy that. I promise.

ps~Get it in, Egypt!

Lang Goes 96

•January 25, 2011 • Leave a Comment

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Calm down, this isn’t depressing. It’s a story. For 3 days and 2 nights, I was without water. It’s something like Hanukkah. We lost it on Friday. The pipes froze, or something. I don’t know how that happens. It’s fucking 4 degrees here all the time. How do you not plan for that shit? Not that big of a deal to me though. I can manage. Fucking stupid. I was like, “Meh. It’s just water. I can poo elsewhere.” So that I did. Sorry Target. Well I’m not sorry, I bought a fountain drink so I didn’t feel super bad. (Oh like cumming, cumming) It’s not like I walked in, did the dirty and left. But besides that, I had no real concerns. I brushed my teeth with bottled water, and went to bed Friday night. Saturday I woke up. Still no water. No worry. Bottled water it is. At this point, I had used the one flush my toilet had in it. Needed to pee. So cold outside. Too cold. Shower? Can you do that while you aren’t taking a shower? Too risky. I just woke up, I can’t drive anywhere. Won’t drive anywhere. I just used the toilet. At this point, it’s and indoor port a potty.  This is where I first started to realize. The day goes on. Back to Target. Actually Wal-Mart this time. They have a Sub Way. I love that place. You know that Italian BMT sub? Brooklyn Manhattan Transit. OH! BECAUSE ITS SUBWAY. I felt so stupid when I first heard that from some random subway employee I was playing WoW with. Anyway, back water. The lack of rather. No shower doesn’t really bother me at this point. It’s only been 24 hours. I can last at least 48. Lang goes like 96 by choice. That’s probably not true, but he definitely goes hard. Halfway through the day the water starts to drip from the sink faucet. A hope? A chance! It stops soon after. Of course. By the end of day 2 I am losing my shit man. I’m ALMOST Bear Grylls at this point though. Peeing everywhere but the toilet, brushing my teeth with bottled water, not showering, no laundry, no dishes. Ok, some things didn’t change. Point being, I literally might as well be in some Taiwanese jungle. I went to bed, hopeful. The next morning. Day 3. No water. I was planning on going to Pirate Caravan with my friends, but I can’t shower. I don’t smell really. But my hair. It’s gone to shit. I can’t have my hair fucked up. It means too much to me. Now my room mates are fed up. They have way more initiative than me. They call the land lord, demand a hotel room. He says he will come over and check out the situation. Right. The situation. There’s no water, pipes are frozen jack ass. So we wait. You never notice the noise of a toilet flushing in the apartment above you until you have poo envy. So much fucking envy. Speaking of poo envy. That is the worst fucking movie of all time. Never watch it. The water comes back soon after. Literally 5 minutes before our landlord gets there. ANTI-CLIMACTIC ENDING. Damn shame though. I wanted to see the negotiations. I did’t need a hotel room. By now I could have won every Survivor. At the same time. I still wanted to see our landlord talk his way out of it. Aesop’s fables moral of the story: Living without water is no fun. Bonus moral: It’s pretty tolerable though.

I Don’t Even Tell Facebook The Truth

•January 22, 2011 • Leave a Comment

That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. It should have been. I guess I’m depressed. You can prescribe me pills right? You diagnosed me. I assumed. Oh you can’t? Shit. Calm down. I’m fine. I just thought you over reacted a little. I shouldn’t bitch. At least you care. That’s nice. I don’t, you might as well. It’s odd though. I didn’t even think it was that bad. But what do I know. I was just being honest. That’s not even true. You want me to write about all the shit you like? Promote this? Are you on Facebook? How’s Twitter? I do that. I did that. I figured you would want to read anyway. You did. Did you like it? I hope so. More jokes? Maybe. Probably not. Life’s funny. Not mine. I could make you laugh. Used to. You miss that? Me too. Can’t do that now though. Later maybe. If you want to laugh go somewhere else. For now. If I don’t take myself seriously who the fuck will? Not you. I don’t do this for the hits. I don’t give a shit who reads this. I’m lying. I care. Not how many.  Just who.  A few of you, mean the world to me. A few. Most of you, are assholes. Mainly me. I want you to care. I won’t let you though. What the fuck am I doing. I don’t tell anyone anything. Why should I even expect you to care? You don’t even know. I won’t even let you. “Go live your life. Don’t worry about mine.You have your own shit. Do you. Don’t do me.” Funny? I’m trying to lighten the mood. Feels tense. For you. Not me. I like this. Being honest. Or something like that. Honesty’s too much. I don’t even tell Facebook the truth. But thats a whole different story. 400 friends. I talk to 50. Maybe. Point is. Those 50 don’t need my shit. “Internalize everything.” Fuck me. You didn’t even know. I didn’t want you to. Selfish. Scared really. It’s not that I don’t trust you. Really. I just, can’t talk. I don’t want to. I should though. People say that right? I heard it somewhere. Maybe from myself. Either way. That’s someone.

ps~I deleted half of that. For you.

So Fucking Bored

•January 17, 2011 • 1 Comment

It’s been too long. Time to get back into this. I’m just so fucking bored. Bored out of my mind. All the time. This education better be worth it in the end. Morgantown, West Virginia. It’s cold. It’s lonely. It’s Hell. Nothing to do here at all. Hell is what you make it right? Boredom is hell. I could deal with Hinder singing “Lips of an Angel” to me every night for eternity. It would be terrible, I would cut myself until I died again. That might send me to a deeper hell. The Nickleback Hell. No matter, because having nothing to do is worse. Class is one thing, but with my study habits, its barley anything. I’ll pass. That’s all I need. I study sometimes. I lie sometimes. I could work. I probably should. The desire isn’t there. It just left. I just want it to be in 2012. Well I want to be in 1962, but 2012 is more feasible. By then life will take shape. Hopefully. Or the world will end. I’m kidding. That is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. But even if it did, by some crazy “miracle” prediction the Mayan’s made, I don’t give a shit. SO DEPRESSING. As of right now, world ends…don’t care. I mean the world has to END though. Like everyone dead. everyone. If it’s like half the world, thats fucking terrible. Realistically though, nothing will happen at all. I’ll be living with my parents and working at Giant. Some degree will be hanging on my wall like a reprint of some famous painting I know nothing about. That sounds like shit.  I would love that. For now. For a while. Working dairy at Giant isn’t flashy. The truck comes in the morning, we pull the product off the truck, we put it on the shelf. Every day. I like the repetition. The consistency rather. Everyone likes me. and I like everyone. Aside from a few, but I mean it’s a work place. That bitch in the bakery, that douche cashier with the cute girlfriend he doesn’t deserve, and those people that don’t do fucking anything are there for me to hate. Everything else is for me to love. Like. We aren’t in love, Giant and I. I worked there for 4 total months. Past tense. I work there still as far as I’m concerned. Point being, I have good friends there. One of my best friends works there. I actually liked going to work. Past tense. FUCKING STOP. What the fuck is that though. Why can’t I like going to class. Class doesn’t pay. That was easy. I guess friends in class would help. I have no desire to meet people. I like my people. My people like me. My people like we are all fucking Ethiopian immigrants. (That sounded racist) My pseudo-fake-hipster people. I love my people. I miss them. I miss arguing about how many pennies can really go down a drain. I miss going to Good Will to look for old video games. I miss the smell of smoke rising from old soda cans sitting on top of a damn graffitied wooden coffin. I miss playing Pokemon Monopoly to make the pain go away. I need a fucking hobby. This is it.

ps~I hate Jersey Shore. I hate people for watching/quoting/admiring it.

Disregard for sentence structure, paragraphs, cursing, feelings, etc. New thing.